You...made a couple typoes that I think I should let you know about now...and just poke me with a chainsaw if I'm wrong...:

First, you said "punch an kicked" where I think...you missed a past-tense mark.

The other is near the end, the line is "humming under my breathe..."...I think you added an extrea letter to your breath.

Other than those small things...and they ARE very incognito for the less nit-picky, this is a beautiful piece, and one I wanna buy when I'm less poor.

--
~Omega (Passión)

You don't know what I would do to be happy, by your side...I would literally give my soul for you...

thanx man for the help and suggestions I truely appreaciate it
it helps just as much as your encouragment
I think your right about them too will edit it when I can

--
"My family tree's losing all its leaves" Arcade Fire ~ "I'm a tree
that grows hearts one for each you take" Bjork ~ My Poetry: [link]

I love it. Just out of curiosity, do you know what font type you used, it's beautiful?

--
The net's best place for anime everything!
Embrace the paradox...
Sheltie Lovers Club!

aww thanx i'm pleased that you like it
if memory serves right I believe
its the Edwardian Script ITC
I found its better to use with bold and in italic

--
"My family tree's losing all its leaves" Arcade Fire ~ "I'm a tree
that grows hearts one for each you take" Bjork ~ My Poetry: [link]

Oh okay thanks. I love pretty cursive. ^^

--
The net's best place for anime everything!
Embrace the paradox...
Sheltie Lovers Club!

This touches me very deeply with its layers of meaning...and that's what makes it unusually attractive to me. It seems straight-forward, like shooting from the hip, but then there are moments when you are nearly saying the opposite of the words on the page. It is well done.

thanx for the really kind and thoughtful comment
I appreaciate it immensley

--
"My family tree's losing all its leaves" Arcade Fire ~ "I'm a tree
that grows hearts one for each you take" Bjork ~ My Poetry: [link]